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Ostrich

by Castle Theater

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1.
I am an ostrich Worried about how In less than a minute, Alma I won’t remember right now Got to hold on to something And hide it in the sand So I won’t forget No, I won’t forget I won’t forget anything we did today The noise in my eyelids Breaks up the silence Big flashes and floaters Glimmers of stuffies and art that the kids did Corners are padded The Casio is off After somersaults After “Days Are Gone” After the ladybug is on We might be dead tired but we’re so alive Rundawdaw
2.
Fourteen 03:33
I thought I was dying When I was falling asleep But I’m still kickin’ My lungs are breathing These legs are going running I’m wide awake and I know That I don’t know anything at all Though I’m just alright I do the best I can Even the darkest night Moved me to where I am With the new morning I live a new kind of life There’s a new light in my eye I spent so much time Wagering with a thing that hates me A cold, unforgiving feeling But now I know it’s not a ghost It’s not anything at all With the new morning I live a new kind of life See a different kind of sight There’s a new light in my eye Today is all I need it to be Tonight I will not worry anymore This might be all I needed to see So tonight I will not worry anymore
3.
Bumblebees 03:58
I cannot wait for it To be warm again And we’re all pretending Running wild When the outside is in Windows are wide open And we’re all pretending Running wild Outside Out of it Outside Out of it I want to act again And lie that we saw a ghost Or fake another UFO Say it flew over our backyard There’s been so much nothing Clouding up our eyes But we forget our size In the summer solstice sun Outside Out of it Outside Out of it Though we’re just kids We know what this is Outside Out of it
4.
This place is a little smaller Than the way that I remember it being And the playground is a garden With a statue of Saint Francis in it The home is a different shape Just look at it now Look at it now It is the same place But it’s not the same You have been alive And I have been alive too, honey And though we can’t save time Time can save us from the worst of it Maybe This arm is a different shape Just look at us now Look at us now Using the same names But we’re not the same Still using the same names But we’re not the same
5.
Woke up tired And I’m still in my childhood bed Regretting what I said Oh my, Nora I drive your parents’ car around my hometown And I’m lost Maybe my memory is wrong Oh my, Nora Tonight we’re both stargazing Apart but watching the same sky Almost makes me forget that I’ve been away so long Though my eyes don’t work too well at night I can see this better than ever, honey Lake Michigan I’m running I’m going to be with you Falling forward I might stumble all the way to you We’ll see each other soon Oh my, Nora This is happening It’s not some superstition No, waiting isn’t working Oh my, Nora There’s a new kind of fire under me There’s a new kind of morning in you Only you
6.
In the slowdown In the middle of death Iowa is on the eyelids Falling forward Falling far from the flood, salt in hand Hitting the cold ground standing You’re awake, I’m awake You got up, I got up Drove together to Decorah Singing Judee … it’s enough This is life after life I ate it up clean Bought that more is a goal to feed Now all I want is what I need And I need you next to me It’s so easy To get buried in our own time Rolling over and over again It happens gradually - Getting muddied in the low tide, honey Collecting venial sins and sand We’re second wind-ing as we’re aging Two open shapes rearranging Rundawdaw days or hiking ice caves Time is always too short Let’s make a life out of this life It’s quiet on this side of night Softer than any other light
7.
Low Tide 02:51
Every time we stop and stay The tide pulls us away Over and over These frozen, fighting bones Still sending signal tones Over and over Low tide Going nowhere Old signs Pointing nowhere Swelling storm surges are breaking Twisting rituals, turning, changing We’re twenty years old and Out on our own and The level is rising
8.
Moving like a diver Been moving somewhere so quietly Still, I can’t stop saying things That don’t mean anything But you know that the deeper we go The harder it is to see where we are Oh Lord, I still love the swim I still love the water And just like Clementine I forget who I am An everyday omen But maybe I might Decide to be decisive Been closed I’ve been open Come over Been waiting here forever Been waiting here forever For something to happen So come on, come over Try and come over Come on, come over We’ll go nowhere or somewhere And just like Clementine I forget who I am An everyday omen Maybe I might Decide to be decisive Been closed I’ve been open Come over Come over
9.
Pure Luck 03:39
Goodnight, darlin’, goodnight Been drifting so fast that we can’t relax So let’s get back, honey Let’s get back And slow down before we fall down Let’s hold up just a minute Sober up in a minute Give me just a minute to catch my breath When trouble shows up We tend to get stuck But it might be pure luck That we landed here now Tomorrow morning We’ll find a mooring Though we’re caught up in a wave We’re caught up in such a way That something’s gotta change Let’s cut the surges Get back to sand

about

Hello there. Thanks for your interest in my music.

Of all the things I’ve made, this album has the most “me” in it, for better or worse. Like many of us, I spent stretches of the pandemic digging into my history, thinking a lot about memory and what a funny, unreliable thing it can be. Certain moments can be recalled instantly and seemingly intact, while others are fuzzy or incomplete. Events that we remember happening one way might have actually occurred in a completely different way. We forget things. We make things up. We embellish.

With the exception of only a handful of songs, I’ve happily avoided writing overtly autobiographical lyrics. It never seemed like I could do it without totally humiliating myself. But something about the time we’re in and this new curiosity in memory got me thinking that it might be an interesting thing to try. So last autumn, I began messing with some little ideas written in the voice of a younger version of myself. Eventually these sketches were shaped into nine songs, each a blurry snapshot of a different period of life. Unreflective, unnostalgic, and unjudged by any wisdom that age might have earned me. The subject matter is fairly mundane – just some plain words about ordinary moments from childhood, young adulthood, and parenthood. Like a lot of memories, the precise details are less important than the impressions they make.

I understand that this approach to songwriting is inherently navel-gazey and gross, but my hope is that a listener might find something compelling or even relatable here, be it a melody, a chord change, or perhaps a lyric or two.

Thanks for reading this boring and self-indulgent note. I hope you enjoy the songs.

Sincerely,

Tyler

credits

released September 30, 2022

Castle Theater is me, Tyler Tholl. I wrote, recorded, and mixed this music in my family’s home, September 2021 to June 2022.

The songs were edited by my partner, Nora Kain, and mastered by Greg Reierson at Rare Form Mastering in Minneapolis.

The cover is a Polaroid of Riverside Park in my hometown, Saint Cloud, Minnesota.

My gratitude to:
Nora, for everything; C & A, for being the coolest; Greg, for your ears and patience; Tom, for letting me use your instruments; Matt, for the Optigan; My friends and family; And you, Reader, for taking the time to listen to these quiet songs. Thank you.

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Castle Theater Minneapolis, Minnesota

Castle Theater is the music of Minnesotan songwriter and home recordist Tyler Tholl.

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